Have you ever wondered whether other women, lesbian or straight have problems with sex? Do you worry that you’re the only one who makes… love at the… of a… and then with
Have you ever wondered whether other women, Guest Posting lesbian or straight have problems with sex? Do you worry that you’re the only one Mcleodganj escorts who makes passionate love at the beginning of a relationship and then withdraws? Or perhaps you enjoy making love to your partner, but feel uncomfortable receiving sexual pleasure? If any of these sound familiar, you are not alone.
Barriers to Feeling Comfortable with Your Sexuality
While we may believe that sex should flow naturally and easily, the reality is often different. It’s no wonder, given all that we’re up against–sexism, heterosexism, and homophobia; society’s repressed attitudes about sex generally and especially about women’s sexuality; messages we receive from famililes, religion, schools, and the media about women, lesbians, and sex; and the fact that so many girls and women are sexually assaulted. It’s remarkable that we feel comfortable with sex at all!
Patience and Awareness
If you’re having a hard time with any aspect of sex, the best thing you can do for yourself is to be patient and understanding. Freeing yourself of pressure, blame, or criticism is crucial to moving through any obstacle you face.
A good starting place is to simply pay attention to everything that you feel as soon as you are aware of feeling uncomfortable. If you are numbing, or shutting down, you’ll want to figure out how you felt immediately prior to that.
*How does your body react?
*What body sensations do you notice?
*Do you hold your breath?
*Does your heart quicken?
*What are your thoughts?
*Do you see or sense images, sounds, smells, or tastes?
*What do you notice before and during the point you start to feel uncomfortable or begin to numb yourself?
Being aware of your own experience and responses is an important first step. This awareness helps you be in your body and be present with yourself. These are important elements for being able to relax and enjoy sex. This does not mean that you suddenly feel comfortable with sex, in fact initially you may feel even more uncomfortable because you are more aware of how upset or scared you feel. Some may respond to this process by feeling calmer. If you feel more upset or about the same, continue to be with your feelings, let yourself breathe if you can, and remember this will help you to feel better about sex.
It is important that you and your partner accept how you feel and approach your feelings with tenderness and love. Awareness, acceptance, and compassion are probably the most important things you can do for yourself and/or your partner.
Are there any Connections to the Past?
You may want to ask yourself:
Have you felt this way before?
Do you feel this way in other situations?
See if you can remember the first time you felt this way and whether there might be a connection. Does it make sense to you why this was triggered at this time? If not, try to remember the next time you felt this way and whether you can make a connection to your present feelings. Strong emotional reactions are usually connected to past experiences that have not been fully resolved.
You may have been sexually assaulted and coped by numbing out. Or you may have been raised in a chaotic household and feel a strong need to be in control. Directing your attention to what originally brought on these feelings or reactions, and finding ways to work through those issues can help a lot.